Posted by David on March 01, 2001 at 21:05:30:
Blindsided
An old friend visited me today at work. The visit tore at my heart. Pictures of her flashed. My sight was stolen, blurred with salty lenses. The anguish welled up within me. I fought the wail that leapt in my throat with a ferocity that robbed me of breath. I busied my hands trying to distract my heart, to turn the beast from me. The hollow burning moved through me. It became a fast growing vine that choked the life from me. Its roots pulled strength from me. It encircled me, blocking out the Son, stealing the shine, binding my growth. I hold on to it trying to cease its movement, rocking in rhythm with the waves that wash over me. I hold to bind it just as it binds me…I hold on for comfort…I know this friend well. We have spent many nights together running to exhaustion. We are too familiar. I reach out, cry out, hoping open hands will snatch me from this river of despair. I fear pulling them in with me, my hand recoils just before contact is made. Perhaps I should release it and allow the pain to flow where it will, be swept away in its flood. When its waters subside, I will find myself down river, broken dreams around me, twisted and tortured branches torn from the tree. I have been here before. This time not carried as far as last. I will make my way back and await the next flood. I fear it not…it merely catches me of guard…blindsides me.