Posted by AK on August 23, 2001 at 18:24:16:
In Reply to: Re: Re: Re: Will the Tears Ever Stop? posted by KD Bosch on August 21, 2001 at 22:29:54:
Dear KD,
No apologies are needed. I think it's important to share with others that can relate to our situations. My heart truly goes out to you.
I thought I was pretty strong for the first two weeks. I know it was because my two sisters were with me every second of the day and night. Then, all of a sudden, everybody went back to work; went on with their lives and I was truly left alone. I cried a little more then, but put on a good front in public.
In addition to crying a little more, I noticed how quiet and empty the house was. My husband was the TV watcher in the house and always arrived home before me and turned it on. It took me a while to realize that it was so quiet because I completely forgot to turn a TV or radio on. It just never occurred to me. It took me another week and a half to face up to going back to work.
At the five month mark I started to fall apart. I had to attend the funeral of my dear friend's father. Then in the same week I had to attend a bridal shower. All I could think about was the fact that I was no longer someone's bride. That pretty much did it! I had to "exit stage left" at the shower, it was as if the dam was breaking. From there, I had a two-day, non-stop cry-a-thon. I still find that I can't remember everything and can't focus as well as I used to.
I'm hoping that I've finally hit bottom and am working my way up. I've been feeling better the last three or four days . . . I'm hoping it's a trend.
Give yourself permission to cry.
May God keep you and your kids in His care,
AK