Posted by AK on November 15, 2001 at 19:41:55:
I've been feeling a little sorry for myself lately and I think it has to do with the upcoming holiday season. It's been a little over 8 months since my husband passed away after a 1-1/2 year battle with esophageal cancer. He was 35 years old at the time of his death and, high school sweethearts, we had been married for 12-1/2 years.
I've been trying to gear myself up for all of the events that I'll have to attend on my own. I've never had to do that before, ever. I know my family will be okay because we talk about Rob's death and are able to express ourselves.
My concern lies with Rob's family. We were extremely close to them. They used to live next door and five months before his death they moved 13 hours away. It was a planned retirement with really poor timing. I feel like I not only lost Rob, but I lost a big part of my support group too. We still keep in contact via e-mail and calls once or twice a month. A big change from our daily conversations and visits.
I am expected to attend their holiday events and I know everyone there will be wondering should they talk about Rob, not talk about Rob, or avoid discussions with me altogether. They are all hurting in their own way and have trouble expressing their feelings.
The loneliness is really starting to sink in now. Any suggestions on how to cope with the days ahead would be appreciated.