Posted by Dirk on April 20, 2000 at 21:18:03:
In Reply to: When do you get better? posted by Connie on April 08, 2000 at 21:49:20:
Connie,
I can only say that I've felt the same feelings you have and will for along time yet it seems. My wife passed away only three months ago and I feel all those feelings at least a hundred times a day.
I am 28 yrs old, my wife was only 26, and I can't help but feel anger that god would take someone so young. We have three very young children and and I struggle everyday to be both mother and father to them. I am so utterly confused and hurt.
I kind of understand when you say that you struggle to find youself again, cause I believe that I found who I was in her. Now that she is gone I don't know me anymore. The bad thing is, I don't want to be me anymore. Not without her.I know I have to for the kids, but how can I make myself be the father I know I need to be when I feel so void of any good emotions.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. It just hurts so much to look at them every day and know that they will never have the chance to know their mother no matter how much I keep her memory alive. Seeing them brings pure pain and yet, I have to be strong and show them that life goes on. For me, it seems life has come to a complete halt. My life was her.
Does it get any better?